How I Went From Performing in Bed to Actually Feeling Alive
Hi I’m Kindah,
I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, and like many from strict religious backgrounds, I was taught to see sex through a lens of shame, guilt, and restriction. Sex before marriage was a sin, pleasure was never talked about, and anything outside of rigid norms was forbidden. I was never shown how to connect with my body, let alone how to understand or honour my own desires.
As a young adult, intimacy in my relationships often felt disconnected and one-sided. I would go along with what my partner wanted or perform what I thought was expected, but deep down, I had no idea what actually felt good to me. My sexuality remained unexplored, and I didn’t know how to make it feel truly alive.
I discovered tantric practices at a time when I felt disconnected from my body and unsure how to create real intimacy. What I found wasn’t philosophy or fantasy… it was practical, embodied tools that brought me back into presence.
By slowing down, working with breath, and learning how to stay in my body, I began to experience intimacy differently.
For the first time, I could feel myself - my needs, my boundaries, and my inner guidance… clearly.
Ironically, it was through being trained to facilitate tantric connection for others that I received much of this healing and embodiment for myself. In helping others access presence and intimacy, I reclaimed it for my own life as well.
What I realized is that I’d been living with repressed emotions, unresolved shame, and a nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight. I had hang-ups around intimacy and sexuality that I didn’t even know were there. Tantra and embodied practices taught me how to slow down, be present, and feel safe in my own body creating a connection to myself I’d never fully experienced.
Now, I guide individuals and couples through breath, energy, mindful touch, and relational skills to reconnect with their bodies and cultivate presence.
Not sure if I should keep this last paragraph as it speaks to pain points
This work naturally supports people facing sexual and intimacy challenges - from performance anxiety, low desire, and fear of intimacy, to erectile difficulties or premature ejaculation - giving them practical tools for connection, communication, and pleasure, and creating intimacy that feels safe, authentic, and deeply fulfilling.
I decided to further deepen my skills and expand my offering by studying at the world-renowned Somatica® Institute in San Francisco — a training grounded in emotional connection, embodied consent, and real-time intimacy tools. My earlier experiences with tantra had already shown me the power of presence, breath, and embodiment in healing and connection, and Somatica® gave me a structured, relational framework to bring that into a professional context.
The Somatica® Method is a deeply experiential approach to intimacy. Rather than staying in the realm of ideas or advice, it invites people into real, embodied exploration. In the Somatica® Method, intimacy isn’t something to analyse — it’s something to feel and practice in real time.
This means that in sessions, we don’t just talk about desire, boundaries, or communication — we explore and practice them together. You are gently guided to notice what your body is saying, to sense your yes and your no, to express desire even if it feels unfamiliar, and to experience what it’s like to be truly met, heard, and responded to in the moment.
The Somatica® Method creates a relational space where you can safely experience connection with room for curiosity, honesty, play, emotion, and pleasure — all held with attunement, consent, and nervous system awareness. My own journey with tantra continues to inform this work, helping me bring warmth, presence, and a felt understanding of embodiment into every session.
This is the foundation of how I work — not just talking about intimacy, but creating a living, breathing space where you can actually feel what it’s like to be in connection, in your body, with your truth fully welcome.
From personal embodiment to professional training, this journey shaped everything I do as an intimacy coach.
I help individuals and couples move past shame, pressure, and disconnection.
Because everyone deserves intimacy that feels real, safe, and deeply pleasurable.